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PsL Monthly 1993 December
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PSL Monthly Shareware CD-ROM (December 1993).iso
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prgmming
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realprog.txt
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1985-02-17
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REAL PROGRAMMERS
Real Programmers don't write specs. -- Users should consider themselves lucky
to get any programs at all, and take what they get.
Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should
be hard to understand.
Real Programmers don't write applications programs. They program right down to
the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do system
programming.
Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They eat twinkies and szechwan food. (Do
not go to eat szechwan food with a group of real programmers unless you
are prepared to argue bitterly over the last spring roll.)
Real Programmers don't write COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy application
programmers.
Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw
them on the machine, they can be patched into working in only a few
30-hour debugging sessions.
Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and
crystallography weenies.
Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If they are around at 9 AM, it's because
they were up all night.
Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC
... after the age of twelve.
Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide
whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
Real Programmers don't play tennis or any other sport which requires you to
change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their
climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in
the middle of the computer room.
Real Programmers don't do documentation. Documentation is for simps who can't
figure out the listing.
Real Programmers don't write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA, or any of those
pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak
memories.